11.30.2020

“Patience is not something most of us are born with. We are humans, and selfish, and there is nothing wrong with that. We learn patience, and kindness, and all the things that make us truly great as we grow. Otherwise, if we were already born as the people we could one day become, what would be the point in the journey?”

3.8.2019

“It is not adversity unless you are struggling to transform. To move beyond your current limits, even though you are being told to stop. You will never know how far you can go unless you have someone to prove wrong.”

All the Doors

Prologue

---

It’s nighttime.

For some girls, that means getting into bed happily and quickly falling asleep. For me, that’s when I pull the covers up over my head and lie perfectly still, while I struggle to hear anything over the pound, pound, pound of my heartbeat. Hoping that I’ll hear nothing. Fearing (knowing) that I will.

I don’t cry, I don’t scream. Not anymore. I only lie here and wait for my bedroom door to click open.

---

What does one see through the eyes of innocence? This is a simple take of a childhood full of pain and sadness. What can a child do when their door opens every night?

Want to read the rest? Check out All the Doors on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GYBRRLW.

11.10.2018

“I don’t know everything, and I never want to. Imagine already knowing everything that there is to find out. You’d never learn anything new ever again. Never feel wonder or satisfaction at discovering something. Imagine how boring that kind of life would be.”

10.12.2018

“If you don’t like yourself today, then that’s fine. You are a work of art, perpetually in progress. You will change tomorrow, and maybe you will like yourself then. Or the day after. Or any of the days still ahead of you. There’s so much more of your progress to look forward to. And if you do already like yourself today, then you can look forward to loving yourself even more tomorrow.”

8.13.2018

“If you want to be somebody else, then think of someone you can one day become. Pretend that you’re this person already. Every day of your life, pretend more and more. Eventually, you will come to realize that you already became that person a long time ago. To pretend is to bring that person to life, one day at a time.”

5.25.2018

“What is wisdom but understanding that you can never know everything about anything?”

3.14.2018

“When all else fails, remember to be kind, be courteous, be gentle, be sweet. When all else fails, remember what a wonderful friend you can still be to someone, including yourself.”

We Hold These Truths

I just want you to know that it’s fine to hate yourself. To think you are weak, selfish, unkind, etc. Only when you’re dissatisfied with yourself will you seek out improvements. Be harsh. Be critical. Honesty can be cruel, but self-reflection is the only path to change. Feel your doubts and fears, and rise above them all. One day, you will look back on your old self with kindness and gratitude. With a little more wisdom than before. One day, you will love yourself.

So feel free to hate yourself today, and maybe even tomorrow. There’s no better way to learn and grow.

6.19.2017

"When did expressing our true selves become the worst kind of selfishness?"

The Search

Sometimes, there’s nothing more to give. You search and you search within yourself, but you’ve finally run dry. The inspiration has left, and no matter how hard you wish otherwise, it never comes back.

That’s fine. People change as they grow older. What once interested you, what was once your reason for getting up in the morning, will change too. The key to happiness isn’t to keep on clinging tightly, but to let go of the past and look for something new. You’ll find it eventually.

It’s only really giving up when you stop searching.

4.26.2017

"Everything can be defined in an infinite variety of ways; don't limit yourself to only one of them."

2.16.2017

"What is the purpose of a life without the terror of death? If you don’t fear dying, then what’s the point of living?"

Start Moving

Fake it until it’s reality. Don’t be afraid to try when you don’t yet know how to succeed. Keep going even when you’re exhausted. Especially when you’re exhausted. Take breaks, but never give up. Move one step at a time. Crawl, if you have to. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re wasting your time. There’s no upper limit. You’re not too young, or too old, or too anything. Don’t spend the rest of your life regretting that you never even tried. Just do it. Right now. No more excuses.

Believe in yourself, and start. Don’t keep putting it off. Later never comes if you never begin.

11.22.2016

"The worst darkness is the one you can see coming from a long ways off, and all you can do is watch helplessly as the shadow of Death reaches out and steadily grows longer, until one day it finally passes over you."

9.18.2016

"Stupid men can often do great things, while a genius among men can occasionally be proportionally unintelligent. So, how to tell these two men apart? Ask them which one of these two categories they belong to, of course. The genius will invariably call himself a fool, while the truly stupid man will most likely refer to himself as a genius."

7.19.2016

“There is nothing so damning as virtue, because only the good can Fall.”

When Yes Is Still No

Let’s talk for a minute, because I don’t think this gets addressed often enough. There’s plenty of discussion nowadays about how to say no when someone wants to, without feeling guilty and needing to make up for it later. This is extremely important, and absolutely a topic that everyone should be discussing and encouraging. However, there’s another related topic that no one’s talking about, and I feel like it’s past time that we do.

Sometimes, people are in situations, for whatever reason, where they literally cannot leave and cannot force the other person to leave. It’s easy enough to tell people to say no, though I’ll admit it’s much more difficult to actually implement in practice. Still, learning to understand that sometimes no isn’t even an option is more important. People need to know that sometimes it’s not a matter of conviction, but that someone may be literally unable to leave for various reasons, including legal, financial, or physical.

Someone who is unable to leave, despite what they want, is not at fault for their situation. Someone who is can’t say no, despite wanting to, is still not saying yes. There is no true consent in a relationship unless someone can actually say no without repercussions. So while teaching people to say no is vital, and teaching people to accept when someone says no to them even more so, I believe that teaching people to not feel ashamed or guilty when they can’t say no is perhaps the more important lesson.

We need to let people know that they’re not a failure every time they don’t fight back when they can’t escape their current situation. Everyone needs to realize that some people truly can’t just change their current circumstances, can’t fight back, can’t escape, can’t say no, and these people are not in any way at fault for their situation. These people are still victims, and are not to be blamed.

By all means, teach people how to say no, how to stand up for themselves. This is necessary. Just also remember to teach people that, when someone says they don’t have that option, it’s not an opportunity to tell them how to be assertive. It’s not the time to debate with them about their situation.

Judging someone (especially when it’s disguised as well-meaning help or advice) for something they literally cannot change is not fair, and definitely not helpful, and people need to stop. Someone trapped in a situation where they can’t say no is already struggling every single day to survive. They don’t need condescension or guilt trips or a lecture when they already feel so much shame in themselves for never being able to say what they really want to.

It’s easy enough to tell people to just say no when no is an option, but maybe it’s time we tell people that it’s okay to say yes when there’s no other option available to them. It’s still not consent, merely survival when there’s no other way forward, and people shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed of themselves for this.

2.18.2016

“While white is refraction, black is absorption. So why does white stand for purity, when it accepts nothing, and yet, black stands for evil, when it accepts everything?”

12.12.2015

“The moment we stop believing we’re immortal is the moment of our deaths.”