Speak No

There are some conversations that I can never hold with you again. Once we crossed the line from friends to lovers, an empty hole was created between us, and many topics were sucked into its depths. This hole grew into a deep chasm from which nothing can escape. Even now, after time has passed and we’ve both grown enough separately to come together as friends once again, that gap exists. Those unspoken words are still there. We will never be able to shrink this space or eliminate it, but I thought perhaps we could stop it from becoming deeper.

Now I know that we can’t, because all that we’ve never discussed in the past was simply the precursor to all we never bring up now. And so the number of unsaid topics between us grows. It will never stop. Our friendship will one day end. Not because we took a chance on falling in love with each other, but because neither of us have the courage to reach into that breech and grab hold of some long-ago hurt or complaint and bring it out at last into the light of day. Instead, we stay silent to spare each other’s feelings, but especially to spare our own. And so between us the silence speaks ever more vociferously over time.