A Thing or Two

When it’s cold outside
I lie awake and imagine
What you’re thinking about
Right this minute, as you’re
Curled up around someone
Else, safe and warm together

Regret a thing or two
I’m there and then I’m gone
Survive a thing or two
I can and then I can’t

It’s raining now, so I look
Through my boxes until I find
Your picture that I kept, listen
To the raindrops fall as my
Fingers gently trace the lines
Of your smile and your eyes

Regret a thing or two
I’m there and then I’m gone
Survive a thing or two
I can and then I can’t

Remember how close we
Used to be, how many times
We laughed and cried together
The two of us caught up in one
Another, but now you’ve left me
Wrapped around someone new

Regret a thing or two
I’m there and then I’m gone
Survive a thing or two
I can and then I can’t

Promise me one thing, that
If all of your dreams don’t
Work out that you’ll pick
Up the phone and call me
Let me hear your voice
one more time, to feel you near

Regret a thing or two
I’m there and then I’m gone
Survive a thing or two
I can and then I can’t

Regret a thing or two

I’m there and then I’m gone
Survive a thing or two
I can and then I can’t

Broken Web

a spun spider web
            lost in the dark
                        the threads all
                        ripped apart
            thrown away
time to try again
            now the string
                        keeps tangling
                        mixing up
            tears into pieces
fades into the past
            then was there
                        no point in
                        trying to spin
            a web after all
failure in the dark

I Wonder

Every time I walk out the door, I wonder where I’m heading
Every time I scream out loud, I wonder if anyone’s listening
Every time I cross that bridge, I wonder where the river flows
Every time I pack my things, I wonder where the time all goes

I wonder where it all goes, I wonder what they all say
I wonder what it feels like, I wonder why it’s all right
I wonder why everything is the way that it turns out
I wonder if this moment can last, forever and ever

Every time I whistle a tune, I wonder who else knows the song
Every time I look at the stars, I wonder what is really out there
Every time I swim in the ocean, I wonder how far down I can go
Every time I’m on the beach, I wonder whose footprints I follow

I wonder where it all goes, I wonder what they all say
I wonder what it feels like, I wonder why it’s all right
I wonder why everything is the way that it turns out
I wonder if this moment can last, forever and ever

Every time I dance in the rain, I wonder why it’s so much fun
Every time I taste something new, I wonder how big the world is
Every time I go for a run, I wonder how many breaths it takes
Every time I get out of bed, I wonder what this day will bring

I wonder where it all goes, I wonder what they all say
I wonder what it feels like, I wonder why it’s all right
I wonder why everything is the way that it turns out
I wonder if this moment can last, forever and ever

I wonder where it all goes, I wonder what they all say
I wonder what it feels like, I wonder why it’s all right
I wonder why everything is the way that it turns out
I wonder if this moment can last, forever and ever

Every time I fall asleep, I wonder what new sights I’ll see
Every time I meditate, I wonder if all the world is one
Every time I let out a laugh, I wonder why we’re all beautiful
Every time I forgive myself, I wonder at the grace of compassion

I wonder where it all goes, I wonder what they all say
I wonder what it feels like, I wonder why it’s all right
I wonder why everything is the way that it turns out
I wonder if this moment can last, forever and ever

Spectra

When I wake up, the first thing I notice is that my bedroom is completely dark. It’s nighttime.

This isn’t entirely unusual for me. Thanks to working erratic hours lately, my sleep schedule has been reduced to ‘Get it while I can’. For another minute, I lie in bed, warm and comfortable, and not especially looking forward to checking the time on my phone and seeing how long I have until my alarm goes off.

Eventually, I force myself upright, and reach over blindly until my fingers bump against my phone. I unlock my screen and squint at the bright light. There’s something wrong with my phone’s background. The picture is grayscale, when it definitely shouldn’t be. I force myself to ignore that and glance at the time, then reset my alarm so that I can doze for another fifteen minutes, and then I borrow back underneath my blankets.

When I don’t have any more time before I absolutely have to move, I sit up and turn on the lamp next to my bed. And that’s when I notice that it isn’t my phone’s screen that’s the problem.

Everything is grayscale, like in an older black and white movie. My curtains, which should be a deep blue, look almost black. My walls are a light gray, my floor, everything.

------------------------

Can you trust your own perceptions? What would you do if you suddenly couldn't?

A chilling short tale about how sometimes reality isn't as stable as it seems. About the difference between what's true and what's real. Are you sure that you want to look into the abyss? Maybe something will stare back.

------------------------

Want to find out what happens next? Read the rest of this short story, now edited, here on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08DVFV1P8.

The Last Stitch

Undo each thread, slowly and with care
Let me see what’s underneath
I’ll make sure to sew it back up
Once I’m done sating my hunger
We fall asleep, breaths soft
Our limbs tangled up and bound together
Until there’s nothing and no one else
I’m the only reality you know to seek
Every thought and hope is mine to own
I cherish this gift until I’m bored
We have lots of fun and laughs
Until the day I eventually break you
What memories do I leave you with?
I know you’ll hold them close forever
Wish it was my arms holding you tight
My warm embrace that could shelter
It’s too bad that this could never last
All our happy plans dashed to dust
But you should know that while it lasted
My love for you was always false
My interest was only for amusement’s sake
You were so perfectly naïve, I couldn’t stop
Until you became perfectly predictable
So, really, it’s all your fault that we ended
I hope you know this as I pull closed
            The last stitch

2.18.2016

“While white is refraction, black is absorption. So why does white stand for purity, when it accepts nothing, and yet, black stands for evil, when it accepts everything?”

Let It Crumble

When the rusty ceiling flakes
Coats your skin in failure
Falls apart around you

Just remember to look up
Because through the broken
Wreck is something new

There are no limits to restrain
you from trying over once again
As many times as you want to

Understand that if the ceiling
Doesn’t fall in, you’ll never see
What’s waiting above for you