3.09.2019

Snarl and Slash

Snarl and slash
Make it last
Rip and tear
If you dare
I want you to
Look in the mirror
Straight into your eyes
Stare yourself down
Learn all your soft spots
And tighten them up
Until nothing can
Get through anymore
Snarl and slash
Make it last
Rip and tear
If you dare
Create wounds and scars
Wear them proudly now
Got to take those pieces out
That you don’t need anymore
Hurt yourself, cry out in pain
It’s the only way to grow again
Once or twice, or a hundred times
However long it takes, whatever it takes
Snarl and slash
Make it last
Rip and tear
If you dare
I know you’re scared
I know it hurts so much
But you have to be the one
To change yourself, no one else
Snarl and slash
Make it last
Rip and tear
If you dare

Snarl and slash
Make it last
Rip and tear
If you dare

3.08.2019

Someone New

I want to cry
I want to scream
What does this mean
This part of me?
I don’t know
But I can’t take it
Anymore
I want to feel something new
Want to laugh
And be happy inside
Want to cry
And not feel like dying

Wonder what it will take
To make something more
How much will I have to break
Apart, shatter inside of me
To become someone new?

3.8.2019

“It is not adversity unless you are struggling to transform. To move beyond your current limits, even though you are being told to stop. You will never know how far you can go unless you have someone to prove wrong.”

Raise Your Arms

Raise your arms
Can you feel your fingers
Go slow if you must
Just don’t let yourself stop
Push, push, push, push
Even when it hurts so bad
You want to lie down and cry
Move, get up, go even harder
I know it can be scary
I know it can be tough
I know it can be discouraging
I know it can change your life
But it’s the only way to grow and fly

Go, even when you’re hurt
Grit your teeth and try again
Eventually, you’ll get it right
And everything else will be worth it

The Advent - New

Part 1 of The Shadows Series is now up on Amazon! Here's another preview for you.

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I don’t see the man that the shadow attached itself to last time, but I do see a shadow wandering around again. I follow behind it, feeling even more helpless than before. What if it attacks someone again? Is it even doing anything bad?
I want to tell myself no. That it’s harmless, or something. But I still feel so cold when I look at the shadow, as cold as I did lying in that stream, soaked through and in shock. No, I can’t ignore the shadow moving around people who are walking by unaware, especially when it drifts towards a playground. With a sinking feeling in my chest, I notice lots of younger kids around. Some parents are there, watching them or talking on their phones or just chatting with others, but none of their eyes are tracking the shadow as it slowly creeps forward.
I stop near some swings, not really knowing what to do next. Is this really happening? I want to think that this is all some hallucination of mine, despite how creepy that would be, but it would be much better than this shadow being real and moving around near a bunch of kids.
For a few minutes, though, nothing happens. The shadow doesn’t move on, but it doesn’t really get close to anyone around it, either. It just seems to be watching everyone, though there’s nothing remotely like a face on it that I can see. I wrap my arms around myself when I feel a sudden chill in the air, and then the shadow starts moving again, only this time with more purpose.
I’m also moving before I can think not to when the shadow hovers over a kid playing in a sandbox. He looks to be a little old for that, really, already in school, but he’s still a few years younger than me. I can’t just watch and stare again while the shadow does something to a little kid. Before I know it, I’m standing in front of him and he’s looking up at me skeptically, not that I can blame him.
“Hi,” I greet him awkwardly. I’m trying really hard not to notice the shadow hovering next to us. It stopped when I drew closer, like it was surprised. I feel scared that it’s there so near to both of us, but I don’t want to move away. What if it attacks the kid when I do?
“I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” the kid says, but he’s smiling. Unable to help myself, I smile back a little. He’s cute for a little kid. We both know adults mean other adults when they tell us that. None of the parents here are giving me a second glance for walking up to him, even though I’m the oldest kid here. It’s not like I look suspicious, dressed in regular jeans and a t-shirt and sneakers.
“Me, either,” I confess, mentally rolling my eyes at the memory of my dad’s concerned voice. He isn’t home a lot, except on weekends, so even though I have plenty of people to hang out with, he still sometimes worries that I’m going to run into a stranger and get stolen away or something. Parents are paranoid that way.
“I’m Alex,” the little boy says, introducing himself while holding out a hand that’s covered in sand. I can’t help but laugh, and return the handshake, sitting down right across from him in the sandbox. It’s not like I can’t brush the sand off later. And it’s a pretty decent sandbox, actually.
The shadow is watching us both now, and I’m trying not to shiver too much at its attention being on me now, too. I don’t know how I can tell, but the feeling of being watched is intense. I don’t like it.

“Me, too,” I answer cheerfully. “My name’s Alex.” His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and he eyes me up and down for a second before grinning wider.

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Want to check out the rest of the first book in this series? You can find it here on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07P1B7LX6.