This Is Now

This is the last one

The last song for you
This is the last time
I write about you

This is now, and I’m over you
I’m finally going to be free
This is now, and I’m past it all
And I’m never going back again

This is the final good-bye
The only way to make
You go away for good
To leave me alone forever

This is now, and I’m over you
I’m finally going to be free
This is now, and I’m past it all
And I’m never going back again

I’m never writing another
Verse with your name on it
You’re going to go far away
And never come back anymore

This is now, and I’m over you
I’m finally going to be free
This is now, and I’m past it all
And I’m never going back again

And it feels so great to
Let you go and not care
Anymore what you say or
Think of who I’ve become

Maybe I should be sad
Maybe I am just a little bit
But more than that, I’m so
Relieved to be myself again

This is now, and I’m over you

I’m finally going to be free
This is now, and I’m past it all
And I’m never going back again

This is now, and I’m over you

I’m finally going to be free
This is now, and I’m past it all
And I’m never going back again

Liar

When I wake up
I ignore the sound
The scratching on the walls
The whispers in my ear
I don’t pay any attention to
The writing appearing before me
Or to the blood in the water
The smell of pain and fear is all
Around, but I pretend it’s roses
Nothing here to see smell hear touch
I close my eyes and ignore everything
Until I can’t sense them at all anymore

But I know

They’re all still there
I hold my breath and nothing moves
Yet I’m never alone
I can shut out the truth but it’s always there
On the tip of my tongue, waiting
Pretending nothing’s wrong, I walk away
Always aching to look behind me, but
Never daring to turn around and face it
There’s nothing so echoing as the sound
Of emptiness that I know is
Brimming with despair

In the Dark - Part 4

It’s dark out.

For a moment, I forget to be afraid. Then I feel something brush against my face and I sit up, horrified and not yet ready to endure what I know are going to be my last seconds alive.

Instead of a monster facing me, there’s a woman sitting by my side. I almost don’t believe it can be possible, but she’s really there. Someone I’ve never seen before. This is the first time I’ve ever met someone new. I want to speak, to ask her a hundred questions at once, but suddenly her hand is on my mouth, silencing me.

Then I remember that there could still be monsters nearby. I try to stay calm, but I’m panting in fear already. I look around, wondering how we can possibly be safe out here in the open where I collapsed during the day.

-----------------------------------------

Want to know what happens next? Check out the full and edited story here on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FVY71NW.

7.19.2016

“There is nothing so damning as virtue, because only the good can Fall.”

Harder and Harder

Make this stop hurting
Make this stop bleeding
Stop this pain inside of me
Stop this knife in my back

You’re twisting harder and harder
And I’m losing control of myself
I can’t breathe think hear love
With you by my side anymore

Make this feeling go away
Make this all be a nightmare
Stop this scream of mine
Stop this life from killing me

You’re twisting harder and harder
And I’m losing control of myself
I can’t breathe think hear love
With you by my side anymore

Make this laugh become real
Make this dream come true
Stop this spreading darkness
Stop this from drowning me

Make this be what I feel
Make this into something good
Stop this from hurting so much
Stop this acid in my veins

Make this all stop right now
Make this all just go away
Stop pushing pulling hitting
Stop burning me on the pyre

You’re twisting harder and harder
And I’m losing control of myself
I can’t breathe think hear love
With you by my side anymore

Make this finally meaningful
Make this last for forever
Stop this scratching under my skin
Stop this from tearing me apart

You’re twisting harder and harder
And I’m losing control of myself
I can’t breathe think hear love
With you by my side anymore

You’re twisting harder and harder

And I’m losing control of myself
I can’t breathe think hear love
With you by my side anymore