9.18.2019

The Ways We Love


The Ways We Love

-------------------------------------

Takako Ishii is very excited to be attending college once the new term starts. She’s also relieved her grades are good enough that she’s been accepted into her first choice of university. Sure, there are plenty of colleges to choose from, but not many that specialize in preparing young adults for entering into law enforcement.

Takako’s mother still isn’t completely resolved to Takako’s career choice, she knows, but at least her mother is willing to let Takako have her way for now. Probably, her mother is hoping that Takako will meet a nice, young man while away at college, get married, and forget all about choosing such a dangerous job.

Takako has already decided, though. Even if she meets a man who she might wish to marry while at school, she won’t agree to any permanent commitment until after she’s been accepted into the Public Safety Bureau. Takako feels like she has to try this path, at least. She wants so badly to help defend her nation, to be someone who stands for justice and upholding the law.

Her friends think that Takako sounds naive, and she’s self-aware enough to admit to herself that they’re right, but she doesn’t mind. This is the path that Takako has chosen to follow, after all. She’s eager to begin her life at school a few hours away from home, finally.

Then, two weeks before Takako is due to leave, her mother collapses.

Overwork, the doctor says. That makes sense. Takako’s mother is a single parent, and has raised Takako by herself for all of these years. Takako is at first frightened when her mother collapses, and then very relieved when the doctor says that her mother will be fine.

Then comes the worst news. Her mother has overworked herself to the point that she’s going to need a long stay in the hospital, and going back to work is out of the question for a long time even after then. They have no savings, aside from the money meant for Takako’s schooling, and they need rent money. And food. And the hospital bills need to be paid.

So, Takako is eighteen and does not go to school. This is fine, she tells herself. Plenty of people nowadays don’t attend university their first year after high school. Plenty of people get part-time jobs like Takako is looking into right now. They stay and work, and start school later, and everything turns out just fine.






--------------------------------------

Takako Ishii is 18 years old and ready to start college when her mother collapses. Suddenly, Takako is forced to put her life and dreams on hold in order to care for the mother who has raised her for all of these years.

What does it mean to love someone? To have a duty towards them? How does someone deal with the feelings of resentment that build up? With the feeling of watching everyone else living their lives and being left behind?

Takako must decide what it really means to care for someone.

--------------------------------------

Want to find out what happens next? You can buy the story on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Y1CLHBG.

9.14.2019

Sweetness

It’s so easy to get lulled
Into a false sense of peace
But then the rug gets pulled
And you realize that nothing
Was ever safe at all, and you
Have to deal with the mess
It’s so hard to clean up, to
Tell yourself that everything’s
Going to be alright when you
No longer believe in anything
When you stare at the broken
Pieces and wonder what’s next
Eventually, this feeling fades
But you never forget, you brace
And wait for the next crash, and
Forget to enjoy the present moments
That can be so sweet to experience
Before you know how fragile they are
Time to stop and remember that you
Used to have fun, used to laugh and
Play and live each moment like it counts
Not like you’re waiting for the next hit
Learn to love your life again, all the more
Because it is so fragile and sweet

Sure and Steady


Look at the turtle
You might think it’s slow
But it always knows
Where it’s heading towards
It never falters in its path
A slow pace is perfect
To keep the turtle going
Until it finally reaches
The end of its journey
Perhaps we could all be
More like the turtle
Who seems slow but knows
The way to go
I definitely don’t know
The right path to take
For me
And so I envy the sure turtle
And wish to ask it for the answers
For some parting words of wisdom
Or just an inspiring word
But the turtle never speaks
So I have to watch its movements
Instead
Copy its slow but steady habits
And hope that by
Imitation I can achieve
That same sense of surety

No Guarantees

You always hear that everything will be better someday
That your life will have some meaning someday
You’ll want to get up in the mornings someday
It’s so hard to wait for someday to arrive, though
Somedays are just dreams, you see them in your sleep
But they fade away as soon as you close your eyes
Vanish into the darkness, until you wonder if they ever existed
Somedays aren’t guarantees unless you make them come alive
When you want to close your eyes and hide away, just remember
That your someday will never come unless you search it out
Have to get up and walk a step, and then a million more to find
What you’re looking for, or someday won’t ever happen at all
Somedays are just dreams, you see them in your sleep
But they fade away as soon as you close your eyes
Vanish into the darkness, until you wonder if they ever existed
Somedays aren’t guarantees unless you make them come alive
Why do things never happen the way that you plan them to?
How many years does it take before your someday arrives?
I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I know that
I’ll never figure it out unless I discover my someday fairy tale
Somedays are just dreams, you see them in your sleep
But they fade away as soon as you close your eyes
Vanish into the darkness, until you wonder if they ever existed
Somedays aren’t guarantees unless you make them come alive
Does a happy ever after exist for everyone? I don’t think it does
Sad, but sometimes someday never comes, and then you have to settle
Still that’s no reason not to try and try, and try some more to make
Your someday happen, and hurry towards that distant happiness
Somedays are just dreams, you see them in your sleep
But they fade away as soon as you close your eyes
Vanish into the darkness, until you wonder if they ever existed
Somedays aren’t guarantees unless you make them come alive
Somedays are just dreams, you see them in your sleep
But they fade away as soon as you close your eyes
Vanish into the darkness, until you wonder if they ever existed
Somedays aren’t guarantees unless you make them come alive

Everything's a Mess

What do I do when everything’s a mess?
Upside down and inside out, and all around
Thrown down to the ground, shattered and broken
Sounds so sad, but I’m really not feeling that way
Hard to let go of the things that break us apart
Because they hurt us so much, they must be meaningful
Real life doesn’t work like that at all, though
Have to ignore the things that don’t help at all
What do I do when everything’s a mess?
Upside down and inside out, and all around
Thrown down to the ground, shattered and broken
Sounds so sad, but I’m really not feeling that way
Resist when there’s nothing really pulling you under
Struggle to breathe when there’s already plenty of air
Can’t help feeling like you’re trapped when the door is open
Could crawl out anytime, but can’t even see the light
What do I do when everything’s a mess?
Upside down and inside out, and all around
Thrown down to the ground, shattered and broken
Sounds so sad, but I’m really not feeling that way
Days and weeks make me think that nothing’s ever real
They pass by in a daze, blink and the next one appears
Right then, nothing to do but make this one day count
Hold onto this feeling and don’t let ever go of it now
What do I do when everything’s a mess?
Upside down and inside out, and all around
Thrown down to the ground, shattered and broken
Sounds so sad, but I’m really not feeling that way
What do I do when everything’s a mess?
Upside down and inside out, and all around
Thrown down to the ground, shattered and broken
Sounds so sad, but I’m really not feeling that way
There’s no right or wrong way to live your life
Everyone else can say whatever they want to
As long as you’re kind to yourself and others
Live, live, live and let yourself laugh again
What do I do when everything’s a mess?
Upside down and inside out, and all around
Thrown down to the ground, shattered and broken
Sounds so sad, but I’m really not feeling that way