1.19.2020

Secret Door


Anne Hudson is 28 years old when she rents an apartment alone for the first time. She feels desperate to be on her own, by that point. Sure, having a roommate was fun during college, but the longer she lived with someone else after school, the longer Anne felt like she wasn’t moving forward with her life.

Her finances aren’t the stuff of dreams, but she can afford a nice apartment on her own. Nothing large, but not small, either. She’s comfortable there and likes the furniture, and everything works. It’s good enough for her right now.

Over a month passes in her new place. Anne meets some of her neighbors and unpacks most of her things. Her friends all come over and help her move in her belongings and assemble the few things she didn’t already have and bought cheap from Ikea.

One night, Anne’s sitting on her second-hand but still very comfy sofa and trying to politely respond to a work email while still letting her boss know that the latest situation is honestly not her fault. She hates getting work emails outside of work hours that she has to deal with right away. All that she wants to do right now is relax.

She leans against the armrest, trying to get the wording just right so that she doesn’t sound rude or offensive and pretty sure that she’s overthinking the whole thing but not able to stop herself from rereading the email for the hundredth time. After another minute, Anne leans her neck over the armrest, until her head’s hanging upside down, and she closes her eyes. Maybe if she stops looking at it for a few minutes, she’ll be able to focus better.

When she opens her eyes again, Anne starts counting to 30 in her head while she aimlessly looks around the room. She’s not searching for anything in particular, just trying to clear her mind. Her gaze is caught by something odd on the wall, though, and Anne frowns. She squints, trying to see clearer. There’s definitely something off about that section of the wall.

Anne really hopes that it’s not water damage or mold, or something awful like that. She sits upright again, reads over the email quickly and decides that it’s not going to get any better in the next half-hour, presses send, and then sets her laptop down on the couch and gets up.

She looks at the wall again, and now it seems perfectly fine. Did she just imagine something weird on the wall? Was it a shadow? She’s not going to turn her head upside down again just to see some spot on the wall. Anne almost ignores the whole thing, but she really doesn’t want to deal with water damage. If it’s just starting, then it could be an easy fix, but if she left it to rot, then it would become an even bigger mess.

Sighing, Anne walks over to the wall and slowly starts running her hands along the surface around the area where she thinks she saw that weird spot. After a few minutes, she feels something different on one section of the wallpaper. Anne crouches down and looks carefully, and part of the wallpaper is wrinkled, showing a little sliver of the wall behind it.

Well, there could be a lot of different reasons why the wallpaper’s not straight right there. Most likely, it just wasn’t smoothed down completely when it was put up.

Anne tries to lift the wallpaper away just a little bit more to check if the wall is damaged behind it. She’s really surprised to find out that the wallpaper is covering a hinge.

Why would there be a hinge in the wall?

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When Anne moves into her new apartment, she's definitely not expecting to discover a mystery. Why is there a secret door in Anne's apartment, and where does it lead? Why was it hidden in the first place? Anne doesn't know the answers to these questions, but she's determined to uncover the truth of the secret door.

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Want to find out what happens next? Check out the full story here on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0841PLY6C.

1.10.2020

Fetch

Fetch me from the bottom of this ocean
So tired of this pressure on me
Pressing down and crushing me
Hurts so much, so overwhelming
Punish me for being bad if you must
Tell me that I’ll never amount to anything
Push me to the floor and make me crawl
Turn me inside out with your words and fists
Don’t leave me under here
Trapped in the dark and cold
I don’t care that I’m all alone
But this weight is too much
How can anyone be expected to live
Under this constant stress and strain
Why can’t I just be happy for once
Can’t I ever feel good about myself
Maybe I don’t need a helping hand at all
But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t appreciate one
Would be nice to feel what kindness is like
Give me some warmth when I’m by myself
Don’t leave me under here
Trapped in the dark and cold
I don’t care that I’m all alone
But this weight is too much
I don’t mean to complain about everything
I’m just trying to survive like everyone else
Why do I have to hurt so much all the time
Can’t I just have one moment of peace
Don’t leave me under here
Trapped in the dark and cold
I don’t care that I’m all alone
But this weight is too much

Trap

You’d think just once
Something would go right
That someday would be good
And I’d feel really great about it
Everything, or even just one
Thing would be nice, for once
A single moment of time
Be thankful I exist, instead
Of feeling trapped in this shell
This existence that drags me down

The Last One

How can I be afraid
When I understand
It’s this or death
Only one way out
No looking back
Got to take the chance
Or one day the razor
Will seem much too
Inviting to pass up
And I’ll quit making
Any other choice but
The last one I can’t undo

Need


Just one moment
To say hello
Or goodbye
Try and Try
Every day
And I realize
That something
Needs to change
In this dismal place
Need a new way
A new path
Something different
Lose and choose
Around and around
Once again