11.16.2019

Hard Pressure


Harder still
On your own
Every choice yours
All consequences
Because of you
Easy to think
Grass is greener
And glasses are tinted
Rose in every other
Life but your own
Sometimes, it’s true
You’re free, and feel
All the weight lift
From your soul
Even the pressure
Of being alone
Is new and exciting
What a time to be alive
To experience new
Adventures every day
Harder to be
On your own
But worth every
Single moment
To get there

Invention

Make the puppet myself
Dangle the strings
Feel in charge for once
Until they snap
Carve that doll
Every part carefully
Display it proudly
Until it smashes
Sometimes, we try to make
Everything the way we want
It never works out for very long
Something always comes along
And then everything comes crashing
Down and shattering into pieces
Shards cut your skin and blood flows
You wonder where it all goes
Write your own story now
Plan out all the twists and turns
Take the time to add in some drama
Light the pages on fire and burn the words
Paint with every color available
Use as many brushes as you can find
So many swirls of colors to catch your eye
Until the whole thing turns into mud
We try to create, and then we destroy
So many chances to make the world better
All end up crashing and burning and rotting
Why did you bother to try in the first place?
There’s still a chance, however small, of the world
Becoming something beautiful in the future
Guess that’s what’s worth trying and trying again
Destroying everything as many times as necessary

Strong Enough Now

Look what you made me do
No, that’s not right at all
I’ve got to stop blaming
Everyone and everything else
My mistakes are my own
My decisions are my own
My failures are my own
And my triumphs are, too
Need to stop looking for
Something else to focus on
Need to face everything now
Not turn away from reality
Time to deal with the mess
My life needs cleaned up
Take this chance with both hands
I’m strong enough to survive now

Wish List

All I wanted
This Christmas
Is some hope
In my stocking
All I needed
This Christmas
Is some joy
Under the tree
I didn’t need
You coming back
Showing up
Once again
I didn’t want
To see your face
In front of me
Ever again
All I wanted
This Christmas
Is candy canes
And mistletoe
All I needed
This Christmas
Is sugar cookies
And hot cocoa
Guess I won’t
Get what I want
Guess I can’t
Have what I need
Not this year

11.15.2019

The Out-of-Towner


The building that advertises drinks within looks brand new. Then again, all of the buildings in this town do. He tries to ignore that, and to instead focus on finding some way out of there.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore. Can’t even remember how long he’s been trapped there.

Warily, he looks around, but he’s alone. For now. Being alone is better than those things coming back to attack him again. He doesn’t know what they are, and has only ever been attacked during the night so far, but whatever those things are, they’re completely silent until they attack.

They also have very sharp claws. Grimacing at the memories, he ignores his wounds as much as he can, the deep lacerations slowly scabbing over along his right shoulder and thigh. Those damn things were trying to disable him. Or dismember him. Either way, they almost succeeded.

Luckily, he’s carrying some knives and a gun, though he’s out of bullets now. Has been for days. All that he has left are his knives, and his sanity, and maybe not even that last one.

There’s no rational explanation for why he can’t leave this town. Hell, he should be able to just follow the road and end up somewhere else. Instead, he always winds up walking back towards the town again. He’ll pick a random direction and start to walk, run, climb away, but he’s always back on the same road leading towards the town before too long.

There’s got to be some way out, though. He clings to this assertion with all of his remaining mental strength. After all, he got there somehow. He doesn’t remember exactly how, but he’s there. All that he can recall is driving, and then the car wreck, and then…

Waking up there, however long ago. He’s lost track of the days. Knows that it’s been more than a few weeks. At least. He can’t think about that too much, though, or despair starts creeping up on him all over again at his many failures so far.

No, he’ll get out of there. He has to. He has shit to do, and he can’t just die there.

If those things out there don’t kill him eventually, it’ll be because he’s either escaped or killed himself first, and isn’t that a depressing thought.

There’s got to be an exit, though. He just has to find it. That’s the only thought that’s been keeping him going all of this time. He just needs to hang on for a little while longer.

The buildings around him are of no interest. He’s been through them all already. Looking for signs of life, maybe a clue as to where he is and how to leave, but there’d been nothing. The whole town looks brand new, filled with modern buildings and clean streets, like something out of a damn suburb. Or a nightmare. Both, probably.

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This is the town that no one can escape.

He wakes up with no memory of where he is or how he got there, and the town is still and silent. There's nothing but fog in every direction, and no matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to escape. There are creatures in the dark that attack him, and a cemetery that he doesn't want to go near, and all the while, he's trapped in this place.

This is the town that no one ever leaves, and he is the out-of-towner who is about to learn the reason why.

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Want to find out what happens next? Check out the rest of this story here on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081K92PK8.