Older

Used to be so young
Wanted to have everything
Would settle now for one thing
Just this moment to last forever

Eternity in your arms
Age has taught me so much
How to savor these small moments
Keep them close as long as possible

Had a dream and then let it go
Let it go, so many times I’ve
Cried and laughed and cared
So much pain, but never died

Would rather be my age now

Than stay my young self forever
Want to make this happiness real
This time between the two of us

Nothing

When the spotlight comes on
And I don’t know what to say
Because there’s nothing to do
Anymore after what has happened

Nothing to say about what we did
How we let this all go so wrong
Nothing to say about how far we let
This feeling we used to share between us fall

I don’t have any more words to say
My throat has run dry, my tongue is tied
The audience is waiting, waiting forever
Staring at my frozen face on the stage

Wishing and wondering and nothing
Ever comes from all of this trying
Can’t even cry because all my tears are dry
Nothing to do but pretend to fly

A light comes on, but it feels so cold
People clap and laugh, but I’m numb
Not scared, but nothing’s coming out
What can I do to make them understand?

Because when the spotlight comes on
And I stare out at the waiting crowd
Nothing’s going to come out, there’s nothing
Left here for them to see anymore

I try so hard to fill up the emptiness

Want to make something happen today
But nothing ever works, nothing ever comes
There’s nothing to say between us anymore

Control

Take this bitter pill
Tell yourself you want it
Swallow or choke, but don’t ever spit
Dissolves on the tongue so slowly

Grit between your teeth
Sandpaper in your throat
Can’t focus and can’t perform
Lost in the battle of everything

Sometimes, truth is false
You think you know, but you don’t
Time reveals all of your naivety
Until the innocence fades at last

Might as well swallow the pill

Tell yourself it’s your choice
That you have control over yourself
No need to admit your helplessness

10.12.2018

“If you don’t like yourself today, then that’s fine. You are a work of art, perpetually in progress. You will change tomorrow, and maybe you will like yourself then. Or the day after. Or any of the days still ahead of you. There’s so much more of your progress to look forward to. And if you do already like yourself today, then you can look forward to loving yourself even more tomorrow.”