My Fairytale

An apple so ripe, cranberry-red

Sweet poison

The taste cloying on my tongue

Bitter skin

I try to cough the piece back up

Blood frozen

There’s no more beating of my heart

Breath gone

I have lost

My eyes are wide open, but blind

I trusted

The wise old crone becomes a witch

She laughs

They come to bury me in my casket

No air

I want to scream, but my lips are shut

Fade away

Once upon a time

Gamble

Take a deep breath and count to ten

Let this feeling fill you up inside

Close your eyes and make a wish

Take a chance and roll the dice

Get on that rollercoaster

See how high you fly

Don’t think about the ending

Just enjoy the ride

Take a deep breath and count to ten

Let this feeling fill you up inside

Close your eyes and make a wish

Take a chance and roll the dice

Forget that failure’s an option

Run forward without looking back

Let the wind tug at your hair

The ground blur beneath your feet

Take a deep breath and count to ten

Let this feeling fill you up inside

Close your eyes and make a wish

Take a chance and roll the dice

Smile carefree and unrestrained

Be gentle just because you can

Start a new friendship every day

Let the sunshine warm your skin

Take a deep breath and count to ten

Let this feeling fill you up inside

Close your eyes and make a wish

Take a chance and roll the dice

Take a chance and roll the dice

Unseen

Sometimes, a growl will crawl up my throat
My eyes will narrow, my fingers will transform
Into claws as I hiss and scratch and bite
My nostrils flaring and my balance on my toes
Teeth bared and breath leaving me in heaving pants
I will curse, I will spit, I will shriek in fury

Inside, I am curled up in the darkest corner

Deep in the shadows where I will be safe
From the monster prowling, while my hands
Cover my ears, my eyes squeezed tightly closed
Humming under my breath until the madness
Passes and the outside world belongs to me again

Strength

I’m trying so hard not to explode
(Swallow it down, count to ten, close my eyes)

My fingers curl into shaking fists
(Don’t cry, don’t scream, keep my mouth shut)

Make myself take a deep breath
(Inhale, exhale, no chattering teeth or trembling lips)

Force my eyes level with yours
(Keep my chin up, my gaze steadily fixed on you)

Refuse to let you see I am terrified
(Shoulders down, don’t hug myself, my knees firm)

Calmly soothe your hurt feelings
(Sweat down my back, shaking, ignore the nausea)

Pretend I’m fine to confuse you
(Go away, go away, go away, go away, go away)

Collapse when you finally leave
(Hug myself, start to cry, so much weight is gone)

Listen

Take a deep breath
Just let it go
This separation will hurt
It will tear you apart
But that is so much better
Than dying slowly from the inside out
This pain will be worth it
In the end
It’s better than being numb
So pull away now
Us all of your strength
Make it hurt so deeply
That you’re wounded and bleeding
It will scar
One day you will be strong enough
To be proud of that imperfection
It shows that you survived
You are strong
So let go
You can handle this
You can go on

VR

Hook me up and plug me in
Your fake reality flashing across my vision
Am I the hero or the villain?
Press start to let this adventure begin

Should have known the day I met you
The only life you live is the one you sleep through
I guess you can’t decide which quest to do
You load up on experience and forget that I’m here too

Hook me up and plug me in
Your fake reality flashing across my vision
Am I the hero or the villain?
Press start to let this adventure begin

Waiting for you when you’re never gonna appear
Having to make excuses when you disappear
Looking for your face in a crowd when I know you’re not here
Wondering how many days will pass before you reappear

Hook me up and plug me in
Your fake reality flashing across my vision
Am I the hero or the villain?
Press start to let this adventure begin

Every secret is unknowable
I ask but you don’t hear
And I’d like to be there for you
But you’re gone when I turn around
Every day is a fight
Just to know if I exist
In whatever world you’re building

You claim to want me
But one minute is all it takes
For me to be alone again
I have to confess the truth
That I would like to count
On you sometimes, to call out
Your name knowing you’ll respond

‘Cause you’re not the only one
Who needs someone to depend on

Hook me up and plug me in
Your fake reality flashing across my vision
Am I the hero or the villain?
Press start to let this adventure begin

Hook me up and plug me in
Your fake reality flashing across my vision
Am I the hero or the villain?
Press start to let this adventure begin

Whenever I think we should move forward, you’re stuck

Always in a frenzy to make a few more bucks
The lights are dim and you don’t give a fuck
If you want make-believe then I guess you’re out of luck

Black as Virtue

Bite down hard, lips bruised
Shadows inked on my skin
The barbs pierce through
Black trickles from the wounds
This blade is sharp and thin

Cut me kill me kiss me fuck me
Hold me close and whisper poison in my ear

Sharpen the knife, cut slowly
Cries of pain and pleasure echo
Black doom is near and I surrender
Shudder and twist in the moment
Away and closer, caught up in my torment

Cut me kill me kiss me fuck me
Hold me close and whisper poison in my ear

Beat me blue and purple, with fists
I’ll crawl over smoldering coals for more
My belly singed black, shards of skin peeling
Make me eat them off your fingers, suck them clean
Pant and moan like a fucking bitch in heat

It’s power at its most potent, my obedience
It makes you squirm, makes me bleed, bleed, bleed

Until I claw free, my wings bent and torn and black
Only to tear them away completely and hand the pieces to you
My only gift, my dead soul, you take from me and shatter

Cut me kill me kiss me fuck me
Hold me close and whisper poison in my ear

Are you laughing now that I am nothing?
Sprawled defeated at your feet and still kissing them
Worshipping at my altar, broken and burning and in ecstasy
Scratching your name into my skin to make it pretty
Until the black comes over me and I die for you

Cut me kill me kiss me fuck me
Hold me close and whisper poison in my ear