Please Forgive Me

Dear Father, please forgive me
For daring to be born
I know that’s not what you wanted
Never wanted me to breathe

Dear Father, please forgive me
For daring to have a voice
Speaking my mind constantly
When you’ve never wanted to hear

Dear Father, please forgive me
For wanting so much more
It’s not your fault that I’m alive
That I’m living my life now

Dear Father, please forgive me
You decided long ago to never see
My face, even before I was born
I’m trying to respect that choice

Dear Father, please forgive me
I’ve always resented your absence
No matter how hard I try to forget
I remember I wasn’t wanted by you

You’re the first person to dismiss me
That wound will never heal
I try so hard to fill my heart
But a black hole remains inside

Dear Father, please forgive me
I accept your indifference
I forgive the way you’ve hurt me
But I never want to meet you, either

Dear Father, please forgive me
I never want to become you
I may not know who you are
But I know you’re a coward

Dear Father, please forgive me
I wonder what you look like
What your voice sounds like
And I’ll probably never stop

Dear Father, please forgive me

I’ve kept them inside my whole life
Choking on their bitter taste
All of my feelings and hopes

Dear Father, please forgive me
I don’t know what else to say
I’ve never spoken to you before
This didn’t help me feel any better